Saturday, February 28, 2009

Just Get Her Number

I think one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when meeting women is trying too hard. Every woman will tell you that it is an instant turn-off when a guy puts forth too much effort or shows too much interest immediately after meeting. A prime example is something I see happening every week to either myself or my friends.

Say you're at the Stage on Broadway, or Big Bang, or some spot where the singles are sure to mingle. Let's say you find a girl (or guy) worth talking to, you strike up a great conversation and there is definitely some tiny level of interest. What do you do? STOP.

Do not continue to talk, do not make suggestions, plans, dates, or ask where they are headed next. You have a VERY busy schedule and need to duck out (and move on to the next club). If you have met someone that you are actually interested in, do not get too excited and do not panic. Odds are, they are equally interested.

"So what am I supposed to do then?" you're probably asking. Get her phone number, better yet, get her e-mail. There is something just more personal and less threatening about e-mail. She'll see who the sender was, read it at her leisure and it is just a lot more natural that getting a phone call from an unknown number and having to deal with the voicemail and barely remembering who you were. E-Mail gives you a chance to remind her of how much fun you had and lets her talk to you in a much less scary way. If she gets an e-mail from you, it's like you're already in her life, most e-mail programs (like GMail) have automatically added you to her address book already. People do and say many things online that they would never say out loud or over the phone. It is just a more comfortable form of communication for those of Gen X and Gen Y.

What's the next step? Relax. He or she may not e-mail you back for sometime. That is the beauty of it all. If you don't hear from the person in a short while, try one more e-mail, otherwise cut your losses and realize "she's just not that into you."

Also, keep in mind, for every 10 phone numbers you get, you'll be lucky if more than 2 or 3 of them ever call or even text you back. Ever hear the saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea?" According to 2007 US Census data, there were an estimated 116,000 single men and 149,000 single women in Metro Nashville. So, guys, good for you...and remember that's just in Music City.

So what's the moral of the story? If you meet someone, and you like them, get their number. Walk away, and call them within 72 hours (I prefer e-mail, because it works more often). And remember, if she's not that into you, she's probably, really not that into you, and that's okay, there's only 148,999 left to go (115,999 for you girls). Good luck, and share your stories!


  1. this was a great article - now if I could just meet someone I can put this into practice.

  2. It seems like you can't use the same game plan everytime. Otherwise, you end up being the same shmuck she's met every other time she's been out. Just sayin.