Sunday, February 22, 2009

She's Just NOT That Into You!

Alright guys (& girls),

I extremely encourage you to go and watch "He's Just Not That Into You." It may appear as a chick flick, but you're going to have to suck it up and watch. You will learn WAY more than you could ever for $9.25. The film profiles several relationships, dating scenarios and dives into several different characters (some extreme) to demonstrate how their behavior affects their relationships, dating and success with the opposite sex.

Why is it so important to watch this movie? Well, in the movie (spoiler warning) there are several characters that create a "support group." Let's say something goes horribly wrong with a date, or one of the girl's isn't sure how to read a guy. The support group ALWAYS has some outlandish example of how once in a million times, even despite whatever obstacle, two other people faced the same challenge and lived happily ever after--together. REALITY CHEK!!!! It doesn't work like that. This movie will show you all of the signs to deduce whether or not he or she is that into you.

The movie, primarily based around a group of female friends speaks mostly about guys' behavior and the "signs" that guys give off to women of interest. So, I googled (you guessed it) "she's just not that into you." The number one hit was a very interesting article from CNN.com (check it out here). The article, however, does nothing more than confuse the reader even more. Read the comments at the bottom of the article for some humorous banter and discussion.

So why am I telling you so much about this movie and the article I found on CNN? Well, what I learned from it is having an enormous impact on my life. For example, I met a girl at a bar about a month ago. I noticed her when I first walked in, a gorgeous blonde with hazel eyes. She was a nine and I'm certainly a seven at best, so I paid no attention to her. One of my co-workers happened to be there that night and pointed out that she was "checking me out." I laughed, surely she was looking at the guy behind me. So I turned around, she made direct eye contact with me and smiled. I was mortified! I had no idea what to do. Luckily one of my drunken acquaintances broke the ice when they asked where one of our mutual friends was. I pointed him out several times and they eventually found him. After that, I noticed the blonde was standing right next to me, I made a joke, she laughed and we started talking.

The girl lives out of town and was in town to be with her best friend while she had a baby, and also has family here that she comes to visit every so often. She was putting out ALL of the signs saying she was into me. So I got her number, we did lunch the next day and after that we talked on the phone every day (she doesn't even like talking on the phone). We went on a few dates and kept talking every day for a couple weeks. Just this weekend she came back into town to see her friend and the baby, as well as her family and spend a little bit of time with me.

Something was different this time, she just wasn't "that into me." So immediately, I turned the charm up, turned the "i like you" down and just played it cool. Something, I don't know what, had her acting slightly different. She was always holding my hand and brushing her leg up against mine while we were out and about. She'd even put her arm around me when we walked down the street. The craziest thing? She wouldn't kiss me for more than a second, she would just start giggling.

We've been talking for a month and have been out on several dates, she's even spent the night at my house. However, I couldn't get more than a peck on the lips from her. She went on about how she hasn't been in a relationship in so long and is an independent person. One of the things she said really scared me, "I think I've been alone for too long." Can a girl forget how to be loved? I don't know, but something about this weekend just told me, "she's just not that into you."

To tie it back into the movie...the problem with the movie is that anytime one of the characters has a problem, a member (or several) of their support group comes up with some pie in the sky theory as to why it happened and assures the girl everything will be alright. I've shared my situation with all of my friends, and they, despite what I thought, assured me that she just had cold feet and was a "nice girl" and wanted to be treated right and make sure that I really care about here. I have no problem with that, but something told me that there was more to it. So, I explained the situation to one of my good female friends, her response, immediately (I kid you not) was, "Have you seen that movie that just came out, "He's Just Not That Into You?" I immediately thanked her for her honesty.

I guess at the end of it, all a guy wants is honesty, no games, no drama no "reading signs." Of course, what fun would the chase be if you always knew what was going on...

What do you think? What experiences have you had similar to this? Share your comments!

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