Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Good Date

So how many times have you gone out with someone and not really known how to feel at the end of the date? I'm sure every time most of us go out on a first date, there is always that sense of wonderment left at the end of the date. More likely than not, your first date was probably lunch. You were busy at work and took an hour out to meet that person you either met online or at a bar some night before. Well, you go to lunch, you have great conversation. I'm sure after the meal there is some awkward hug. But, for the rest of the day, no matter how well the date went, you'll always be asking yourself, "what did the other person think?"

That is kind of the excitement of dating, you are always left with questions unanswered. If the girl (or guy) looked at you and said too much about how much they liked you, it would make you think twice. How could someone I just met a few days ago have so many good things to say to me after just eating lunch with me? You'd probably lose interest after that. Assuming that didn't happen, sometime after your awkward hug, you would call the person and ask them out again. This time the stakes would be higher. That's right, we're talking about dinner.

Dinner dates symbolize a big step in interest. You are afforded the opportunity to talk about many more topics than you were at lunch, and on this occasion something else previously not involved will be introduced, alcohol. Be careful of how much you drink. You're likely to bring up some topics and subjects that you wouldn't have dared to bring up at lunch on your first date.

Assuming the dinner date goes well, you'll be left with an awkward goodbye. Statistics show that only 48% of people kiss after a first date. So, once you go to say goodbye, you'll be left with an opportunity to test the chemistry between the two of you. Who is supposed to lean in? Are they supposed to kiss back? How long do you kiss? Should you use your tongue?

Well, those questions can be debated by both sexes. I think the best thing to do is to tease. Remember when you were a kid on the playground (think intro to He's Just Not That Into You) if someone hit you or teased you, it meant they liked you. Make the kiss short and sweet so you'll both be left wondering what it would be like if you kept on kissing. If you give it all up at first, you're likely to lose some of the curiousity and excitement that you would otherwise be left with.

The Third Date: It's serious business at this point. The two of you have decided that there is enough of both chemistry and interest between the two to carry on to this point. What do you do for the third date? Do you have him/her over to your apartment and attempt to cook them a romantic meal, or do you just go out for a night of drinking on the town?

Whatever you do, take no expectations with you. Sometimes when you have things planned out too much, you set yourself up for disappointment. Spontaneity can play a huge role in this. Go with the flow, test the chemistry, try putting your arm around his/her back and see how they respond. You will learn more about chemistry on your third date than the two before.

If everything goes well, sparks will fly, you'll kiss until your lips get chapped and you'll have this stupid grin plastered on your face afterwards. These are all good things. If things don't go so well, don't get discouraged, you may have been too forward and direct and your potential mate may not have been receptive or is just shy. Whatever you do, relax, be yourself. Never be what you think someone wants you to be, and never act as you think someone wants you to act. If there is any chance of a relationship, being yourself is the key to getting things off the ground.

What do you think? Do you have any great stories about a good date? Do you have any horror stories about dates 1-3? Girls, would you like to add any advice? Guys, what do you think? Feedback.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with you about not having any expectations. That is always where I get myself in trouble and heartbroken.