Saturday, February 28, 2009

I Don't Remember Ordering a Three-Way

It was a Thursday night in early February when I attended a fundraising mixer that I helped plan at a bar in downtown Nashville. There was definitely a lot of mixing and mingling going on, which is something I feel I am very good at. I also consider myself to be an ambassador to those who don’t know anyone in the room. I usually notice that one person who is standing alone, too shy or insecure to jump into the middle of a circle of people who are already in conversation, and will bring that person into a circle or take him or her around the room and make some connections so they can take it from there.

So, at this mixer I noticed a tall, dark and handsome boy standing alone and I instantly went into action. In my mind I am thinking, “surely this guy has to be here with someone”. I walked right over, stuck out my hand, and introduced myself. He seemed relieved to have someone to talk to and then I noticed his thick, Spanish accent when he responded. We hit it off instantly and I learned his story. He is from Cuba and has lived here for a year. So, we shall call him Cuban Boy. He had come to the event with a coworker.

There was definitely a language barrier between Cuban Boy and me, but it made our conversations more interesting because we really had to listen closely to each other. After the event we decided to continue the festivities elsewhere. So, we walked to another bar and had some drinks and got to know each other a little better. We realized that among the many things we had in common, one that stood out was that we were both into spontaneity. Obviously, since we had left the mixer together after meeting an hour before. Another thing that we both had in common was our love for dancing. So, we ended the night at a dance club down the street where we were the only two dancing. I am sure we put on a good show for those sitting at the bar. We didn’t care. We were having an awesome time. I do have to say that the Cuban Boy definitely had some impressive moves. He thought the same of me.

When we were walking back to our cars we exchanged numbers and he said he would like to call me to go out again. I said that I would like that and we parted ways. I would say it was a pretty innocent night if you ask me.

He did call like he said he would, which was impressive. His cool status had grown even more because of that. He called me two days after we met to tell me he would like to see me again and that he enjoyed our spontaneous night. I was happy to hear that. We finally got to the point of making plans to see each other again, which is where it gets interesting.

Due to the language barrier I found it hard to understand what he was trying to tell me or ask of me. Somewhere along the way he began talking about another girl who he was dating or friends with or something. I was so confused. He then told me that he talked about me to this girl and she wanted to meet me. I kept asking if this was his girlfriend and thought it was weird that he was talking to her about me if so. After about 15 minutes of back and forth questioning and trying to get to the core of the situation I began to realize what was going on. He kept saying she wasn’t his girlfriend, but that she was more than a friend. Okay, well that tells me that they are either friends with benefits and he just wanted to be brutally honest from the beginning or it means…wait a minute. That is when it hit me. Hello! I came right out and asked if this was regarding a threesome. He said yes. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Okay, first of all, why did it take three phone calls to finally make that point? Second of all, what made him think I would be into that? Nowhere during the night we met did that topic come up. Nowhere during that night did I send out any such signal to suggest that. I mean, we did kiss, but that still doesn’t tell someone that you are into a three-way. Does it?

Anyhow, after finally getting to the core of his intentions I told him that I am not looking for a purely sexual relationship and also that I am a monogamous. I am looking for someone who I can be emotionally connected to and he obviously was not that person. He said that he understood and that he was sorry for offending me. I asked what made him think I would be into a three-way and he said that it was my spontaneity. I still don’t get how that would suggest that I would be interested in a three-way. I have always been spontaneous and I have had some really fun dates because of it. But this is the first time in my many years of dating that this has ever happened to me.

I wished him good luck in finding that third person, but that it was not going to be me. That was the end of that. After we hung up I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or pissed off. I was disappointed, but I also realized that this did make for a good story. When I met up with my friends for happy hour and told them the story I got all kinds of different reactions. The guys, of course, told me that I only live once and I should have given it a shot. I hope they were joking. I am sure most were just wanting to live vicariously through me.

It just goes to show that the hot guy standing alone in a room full of people is probably standing alone for a reason. He is the black widow waiting for his prey to innocently fall into his web. Next time it won’t be me. I'm arachnophobic anyhow.


  1. Oh god, don't be so damning. It sounds like he was honest with you the whole time (if not slightly cryptic at first because of language issues). In his defense, some people might/do enjoy new sexual experiences. If you had been dying to try a threesome, you'd be thanking your lucky stars that you came across this guy. Rather than regarding him as a "black widow," maybe you should just be entertained that you happened to come across someone with unique sexual preferences and they thought you cool enough to ask to join. =) That being said, way to stand your ground and to ask questions. All women should be that way. Kudos.